But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:27-31 NIV)
When the disciples saw Jesus walks on the water, many of them doubt if it is really Jesus. However, despite of the doubt, only one of them step out boldly and asked Jesus to let him come to him on the water. And we all know that this disciple is none other than Peter. While Peter was walking on the water, let us draw ourselves to the disciples who remain inside the boat. What do you think are they feeling when they saw Peter walking on the water towards Jesus? For me, I believed that the remaining disciples also desire to go to Jesus however even though they have this desire in their hearts something that stops them from doing so is fear. Do you know that doubt is a type of fear? They initially doubt if it is Jesus and because of their fear, it stops them from being bold just like Peter. We all can relate to these disciples. A lot of times, we also prefer to be inside the boat. We are afraid to try. We want to do things on a safe mode. Fear stops us from doing great things for God. This is one of my weakness that I need to grow in my walk with God. Sometimes we want to do so much for God but we just don’t have the courage to do it. There are so many fears inside my heart. So many what if. In fact, we don’t doubt God. But what we doubt is ourselves. We know that God loves us but we doubt ourselves if we deserve to be love by God. And we are afraid to try, afraid to make mistakes, afraid to fail. Now let us go back to Peter. When Peter saw the wind, he was overcome by fear and that cause him to sink in the water. But you know what Jesus did? Jesus reach out his hand and help Peter who was drowning. You see, though we failed a lot of times, God assures us that He will never let us go. And that God will stretch out His hand for us because He loves us. That He will constantly be with us no matter how many times we fail. But we need to step out from our faith and keep trying. In my life, I cannot count how many times I’ve made a mistakes. Sometimes it’s tiring because it feels no ending. But I realize that’s how God prunes my character and that is how He trains my heart. I just need to keep on trying and not giving up. Peter made a lot of mistakes in his life too, but he did not allow those mistakes to stop him from doing great things for God. I was so convicted. I need to learn from him.
Do you know what activates doubt? It is through waiting. We don’t like waiting. As much as possible we wanted the results/answers right away. And I honestly struggle in waiting. However, our awesome God has its own time table. For God, a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like a day. God sees everything. And He knows everything. God allows us to wait to see whether our faith in Him is genuine and it is for our faith to be refine. When we wait, we need to be patient. And I learned that patience is not the ability to wait but it is the ability to act while waiting.
When God promised Abraham to make his descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky, despite of his old age, Abraham was able to conquer his doubt.
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, (Romans 4:20 NIV)
How did Abraham did that? I’ve learned that when our minds are filled with doubt, we need to open our mouth and start praising God.
I need to apply this principle:
If I’m in doubt and my mind is telling me that no body loves me.
I need to open my mouth and say:
“God’s love for me is unconditional and that nothing will be able to separate me from the love of God.”
If my mind say:
“I am struggling again. I am not sure if i have the strength to carry out this battle.”
I need to open my mouth and say:
“God I know that you won’t give me struggle beyond what I can bear.”
I learned that I should not allow fear and doubt stop me from responding to God’s call. I need to keep trying no matter how many times I fail. And I should not stop. And I am so grateful for the grace and mercy of God towards me.